Dubious anglicisms

In between Law books I'm currently reading a book given to me by a Polish friend in Germany at the weekend. It's called Viva Polonia and is by Steffen Moeller, a German comedian living in Poland. When I heard the words "German comedian" I had a sinking feeling, but the book is actually very witty and also very informative. Moeller is actually a Kabarettist, which I suppose implies a more sophisticated form of humour than our "comedian."

In one chapter, he was discusssing the endless back-and-forth in airports and trains that ex-pats have to put up with, and which is the price they pay for living in a time when people can fly more often than they could in the past. He used a word I hadn't seen before: Betweener. What did that mean? It looked Dutch or Low German. I guessed it must be pronounced bet-VAY-ner. I looked it up in the big Collins, the best German-English dictionary in my opinion, but couldn't find it. (The nearest thing was betuetert, a new word for me; "tipsy, dazed.")

So I shrugged and read on. Then the word came up again, this time in a chapter about the Berlin to Warsaw railway line. Then it hit me: it's a fake anglicism. It's a word the Germans have borrowed from English and twisted for their own use, innocently thinking it to be a sophisticated English word, not realising that English-speakers don't actually use it. They use it to mean long distance commuter, an ex-pat on the move between two countries. I looked the word up in a few English dictionaries in the library, but it was not to be found in any of them.

Another anglicism the Germans use like this is Wellness. They use it to mean the whole sauna-reiki-massage therapy circuit. You see the word all over the place in Germany; on posters, in holiday brochures and in magazines. But do we use it in English like this? I checked the OED. There, wellness simply means "The state of being well or in good health." First recorded use is by one Sir A. Johnston in 1654: "I ... blessed God ... for my daughter's wealnesse." He could have been referring to a sauna voucher she'd just won in a raffle, but I doubt it somehow.

But the most amazing example of a fake anglicism I ever heard was when a Spaniard said something about "thubbing" with a remote control. Apparently, it means flashing from channel to channel with the remote.

"You mean thumbing?" I asked, holding up my thumb.

"No, thubbing."

I said I'd never heard of it.

"In Spain we think it's an English expression."

Anyone have any ideas how they came to think that?